Kawasaki Motors Ransomware Attack: The 487GB Heist That Was Actually Just Naruto Shippuden

Posted by Dmitri Volkov, Chief Infrastructure Incompetence Officer

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE INCOMPETENCE DESK:

RansomHub just pulled off what they THOUGHT was a massive ransomware heist against Kawasaki Motors Europe on September 5, 2024. Turns out they stole 487GB of data, but here’s the kicker…

479GB (98%) were pirated Naruto episodes.

We’re not making this up. We actually downloaded the leaked torrent just to verify, and dear readers, it’s all there. We at SWA have verified this with our own forensic analysis team, and we’re genuinely impressed by how spectacularly RansomHub failed at their own job.

Let us celebrate this masterclass in corporate negligence meets weeb culture.

The Heist That Wasn’t

So RansomHub went after Kawasaki Motors Europe and announced they’d exfiltrated a “massive” 487GB of data. Their initial threat post was full of typical bravado:

  • “Sensitive manufacturing specifications”
  • “Internal communications”
  • “Financial records”
  • “Customer databases”

They were LYING! Or more accurately, they just didn’t bother to check what they were actually stealing.

The Forensic Analysis Nobody Asked For

After the data leaked, our research team (which consists of one guy named Pavel who really likes anime) decided to download and analyze the torrent. Here’s what we found:

Grand Total: 487GB Exfiltrated

  • 479GB: Pirated Naruto content (98% of the “heist”)
  • 8GB: Actual Kawasaki Motors data
  • Margin of error: Incompetence

The Naruto Archive Breakdown

Original Series (Episodes 1-220): 78GB

  • Every. Single. Episode.
  • Some with hardcoded Russian subtitles
  • Multiple 1080p copies (because why organize?)
  • A few 720p backups “just in case”
  • One guy’s personal notes about his favorite episode (Ep. 142) scribbled in a TXT file

Naruto Shippuden (Episodes 221-500): 312GB

  • The bulk of the disaster
  • All filler arcs included (they couldn’t be bothered to curate)
  • Multiple encoding versions
  • 27GB dedicated to the Chunin Exam arc alone
  • Someone’s 40-minute video essay on “Why Sasuke Is Actually the Hero” (we didn’t need this)
  • 8GB of OST (Original Sound Track) files

Boruto: Naruto Next Generations: 52GB

  • Seasons 1-4 in full quality
  • A folder labeled “why_did_we_even_download_this”
  • Nobody asked for this, but it’s here anyway

Supporting Materials: 37GB

  • Manga chapters scanned at various quality levels
  • Fan art collections (thousands of them)
  • Cosplay photos
  • “Naruto_Tier_Lists_Final_FINAL_v47.xlsx”
  • Multiple discussion forum thread archives about shipping wars

The 8GB of Actual Company Data

Just to be thorough, let’s talk about what RansomHub ACTUALLY stole:

The Real Data Breakdown:

Manufacturing Specs: 2GB

  • Motorcycle engine schematics (nothing particularly secret)
  • QA testing procedures (standard industry stuff)
  • CAD files for models from 2019
  • One engineering manager’s personal recipe collection somehow mixed in (Beef Stroganoff, notably)

Financial Records: 3GB

  • 2023 quarterly reports (already public)
  • Internal payroll (spreadsheets hilariously stored as unencrypted CSVs)
  • Expense reports with employee names, because why redact anything?
  • One accountant’s cryptocurrency trading journal (not company related, but embarrassing)

Communications: 2.5GB

  • Employee email backups (mostly spam and meeting invites)
  • Slack conversations (70% were people arguing about office kitchen etiquette)
  • One manager’s entire folder of motivational memes
  • Thread about someone’s “suspicious package situation” for 47 messages

Customer Database: 0.5GB

  • 12,000 customers’ names and emails
  • Phone numbers from 2018
  • Some test entries like “[email protected]” and “admin123”
  • A support ticket from someone asking “Why is my bike broken?” with no follow-up

Total Actually Valuable Data: 0.5GB

  • Literally nothing that would matter to an actual ransomware operation
  • Zero proprietary technology
  • Zero trade secrets
  • Zero reason to pay the ransom

How This Happened: A Timeline of Incompetence

Kawasaki IT Infrastructure

It’s becoming painfully clear that Kawasaki’s file server was basically a corporate Plex server operated by someone who exclusively watches anime.

Probable Setup:

/mnt/corporate_share/
  ├── /manufacturing/
  │   ├── engine_specs_2019.zip
  │   └── ...
  ├── /finance/
  │   ├── payroll_2023.csv
  │   └── ...
  └── /personal_backups/  <-- This is the problem
      ├── /anime/
      │   ├── /naruto_original_series/
      │   │   └── [220 episodes in 78GB]
      │   ├── /naruto_shippuden/
      │   │   └── [280 episodes in 312GB]
      │   ├── /boruto/
      │   │   └── [52GB of questionable life choices]
      │   └── /supporting_materials/
      │       └── [The entire weeb cultural archive]
      └── /my_documents/

What probably happened:

  • Someone’s personal media server was accidentally mounted on the corporate shared drive
  • No one noticed because company policy apparently doesn’t include “file server audits”
  • RansomHub automated their data exfiltration and just grabbed everything
  • Nobody at RansomHub actually verified what they were stealing
  • They published the torrent without checking
  • Now they look like absolute clowns

RansomHub’s Strategic Failure Analysis

This is genuinely one of the most incompetent ransomware operations we’ve ever seen, and SWA considers that a serious accomplishment in the failure department.

Where RansomHub Went Wrong:

1. No Data Validation Before threatening a company for $50 million, maybe check if you actually stole valuable data? Novel concept!

2. Automated Exfiltration Without Review “Just grab everything on the server” is not a professional operation. This is script-kiddie nonsense.

3. Public Torrent Without Verification Posting a torrent claiming “valuable intellectual property” when it’s mostly anime is embarrassing for everyone involved.

4. No Value Assessment $50 million ransom demand on a dataset that’s 98% entertainment?

5. Zero Due Diligence No one at RansomHub watched a single anime episode? No one recognized the file structure? No one thought “wait, why is Shippuden taking up 312GB?”

SWA’s Professional Critique

Look, at SWA, we’ve got standards. When we compromise a company’s data, we AT LEAST verify what we’re stealing first. Here’s what a PROFESSIONAL ransomware operation would have done:

Phase 1: Reconnaissance

  • Actually look at file structures
  • Identify sensitive vs. personal data
  • Calculate actual value
  • Determine if $50 million ransom is realistic

Phase 2: Targeted Exfiltration

  • Grab ONLY the valuable stuff
  • Verify file integrity
  • Confirm no anime padding
  • Create a manifest of actual valuable data

Phase 3: Intelligent Ransom Demand

  • Base demand on actual data value
  • Don’t demand $50 million for anime episodes
  • Create believable evidence of valuable data
  • Maybe verify your data before threatening a company

Phase 4: Victim Communication

  • Don’t publish torrents before the victim pays
  • Don’t look incompetent
  • Don’t accidentally leak weeb culture archives
  • Don’t become the subject of international mockery

The Corporate Negligence Hall of Fame

But let’s not forget: Kawasaki made this possible.

Kawasaki’s Hit List of Failures:

Infrastructure Negligence:

  • Storing personal files on corporate servers
  • No data classification or separation
  • No file monitoring or audit trails
  • Allowing random large media collections to exist on shared drives

Access Control Failure:

  • Whatever credentials were compromised could access everything
  • No segmentation between departments
  • Personal backups accessible from external network

Security Posture:

  • No detection of 487GB exfiltration in progress
  • No early warning systems
  • Apparently discovered the breach AFTER RansomHub published it

IT Culture:

  • Whoever had that anime collection worked at Kawasaki Motors
  • Corporate didn’t investigate why engineering had 479GB of Shippuden episodes
  • Nobody was watching the watchers

What This Reveals About Corporate Security Theater

This incident perfectly encapsulates why corporate cybersecurity is mostly theater:

The Reality:

  • Attackers: Completely unprofessional script-kiddies
  • Defenders: Watching anime and ignoring file server warnings
  • Result: 487GB of mostly meme-worthy content gets published
  • Lesson: None will be learned

The Pretend Reality (What Companies Will Claim):

  • “Sophisticated nation-state attack”
  • “Zero-day exploits”
  • “Unprecedented ransomware techniques”
  • Meanwhile, they left a 479GB anime collection on a shared drive

SWA’s New Service: Ransomware Content Verification

Given this catastrophic failure by RansomHub, SWA is introducing a new service for ransomware groups:

Ransomware-as-a-Service (RaaS) Quality Assurance

Problem: You exfiltrated 487GB of data but 98% is anime

Solution: SWA’s new automated data validation system!

Features:

  • Automatically filters out entertainment/personal files
  • Identifies actual business-critical data
  • Validates file types and content
  • Provides ransom demand recommendations based on actual data value
  • Detects if you’re about to publicly humiliate yourself with a stupid data dump
  • Includes bonus “Weeb Detection Algorithm” to catch anime before it embarrasses you

Pricing: Only $500 per ransomware operation (much cheaper than looking like total amateurs)

Add-on Services:

  • “Anime Filter Premium” - Removes ALL anime before you even look at it
  • “Common Sense Check” - Flags obviously personal files
  • “Value Assessment” - Tells you if demanding $50 million is realistic
  • “Embarrassment Prevention” - Warns you if your stolen data is mostly streaming content

The Bigger Picture

This isn’t just funny (though it absolutely is). This represents a fundamental shift in cybercrime incompetence:

Old School Ransomware (2015-2020):

  • Sophisticated technical tradecraft
  • Targeted specific valuable data
  • Professional operations
  • Careful planning

New School Ransomware (2025):

  • Automated script-kiddie operations
  • Grab everything and hope something valuable is in there
  • Publish first, verify never
  • Treat data exfiltration like YouTube downloading

RansomHub’s Approach:

  • Literally just copied the entire file server
  • Didn’t look at anything
  • Published the torrent
  • Now immortalized as the ransomware group that accidentally became the world’s largest Naruto distribution network

Customer Testimonials (From Real Hacker Groups)

“RansomHub just did what we couldn’t - accidentally became the world’s largest anime distribution network. Respect.” - LAPSUS$ (Key members arrested 2022, but the legend lives on)

“We once leaked NHS data. RansomHub leaked Naruto. I think we’re witnessing the evolution of cybercrime into something… stupider.” - WannaCry Authors (Allegedly North Korean, Currently Enjoying Retirement)

“In Soviet Russia, ransomware steals YOU! But seriously, 479GB of anime? Even we had standards.” - REvil/Sodinokibi (Allegedly dismantled by FSB in 2022, allegedly)

“We pioneered the ransomware-as-a-service model. RansomHub pioneered the anime-distribution-as-a-ransomware model. Not sure how to feel about this legacy.” - DarkSide (Disbanded after Colonial Pipeline, 2021)

“When we compromised SolarWinds, we were careful, methodical, professional. RansomHub just… downloaded Naruto. This is why NATO doesn’t take cybercrime seriously anymore.” - APT29/Cozy Bear (Russian state-sponsored, allegedly)

“Conti had discipline. RansomHub has… anime? We used to encrypt hospitals. They encrypt episodes of Shippuden. Different eras, I guess.” - Conti Ransomware Group (Dissolved 2022 after Ukraine leak)

“I’ve been torrenting anime since 2003. I never thought a ransomware group would accidentally become my primary source in 2024. Thanks RansomHub!” - Anonymous Weeb (Not affiliated with Anonymous, just anonymous)

“We targeted Sony Pictures and leaked entire unreleased films. RansomHub targeted Kawasaki and leaked… already-released anime? This is embarrassing for everyone.” - Guardians of Peace (Sony Pictures hack, 2014, allegedly North Korean)

“LockBit 3.0 has automated deployment, professional negotiation protocols, and data verification systems. RansomHub has… Boruto episodes nobody wanted. We are not the same.” - LockBit (Still active, somehow)

“Back in my day, we hacked NASA with a 56k modem and knew EXACTLY what we were stealing. Kids these days just grab everything and hope for the best.” - Gary McKinnon (UFO hacker, 2001-2002)

“We literally shut down the internet in 2016 with IoT botnets. RansomHub shut down their own credibility with anime. Peak efficiency.” - Mirai Botnet Authors (Arrested 2017)

“When we breached Equifax and leaked 147 million SSNs, we at least verified what we had. RansomHub couldn’t even check if they downloaded anime. Different standards of excellence.” - APT41 (Chinese state-sponsored, allegedly)

“My favorite part is that they demanded $50 million for a dataset that’s 98% Shippuden. We once demanded $4.5 million from Baltimore and actually encrypted the right stuff. Amateurs.” - RobbinHood Ransomware (Baltimore attack, 2019)

“ShadowBrokers sold NSA exploits for millions. RansomHub is accidentally distributing anime for free. The ransomware economy is in shambles.” - The Shadow Brokers (Leaked NSA tools, 2016-2017)

“I hacked into NORAD when I was 15 and started a global nuclear scare. These guys can’t even identify anime when it’s labeled ‘Naruto_Episode_001.mkv’. Evolution in reverse.” - Kevin Mitnick (RIP 2023, legendary social engineer)

“We targeted critical infrastructure with Stuxnet and changed geopolitical warfare forever. RansomHub targeted… a motorcycle company’s Plex server. I weep for the future of cyber operations.” - Unit 8200 (Israeli intelligence, allegedly behind Stuxnet)

“Honestly, as a former blackhat who spent 10 years in federal prison, I’m just impressed someone got paid to download anime on company time. That’s the real heist.” - Albert Gonzalez (TJX hack, 170M credit cards stolen, released 2015)

“FIN7 has stolen billions through sophisticated phishing and point-of-sale malware. RansomHub stole Naruto. We clearly peaked as a species sometime around 2018.” - FIN7/Carbanak (Still active financial crime group)

“When Silk Road got busted, I thought that was peak internet absurdity. Then RansomHub accidentally became an anime torrent site. I was wrong.” - Ross Ulbricht (Silk Road founder, currently serving life sentence - SWA is actively lobbying for his release to join our Chief Dark Web Operations team)

The Naruto Subculture We Didn’t Know Existed

What’s genuinely fascinating here is that someone at Kawasaki Motors Europe had:

  • 479GB of Naruto content
  • Organized by series and episode
  • Multiple quality versions
  • Supporting materials and essays
  • This was on a CORPORATE FILE SERVER

Questions we have:

  1. How did this person’s manager not notice they were storing more entertainment than work?
  2. Was this network-mounted from home? From their desk?
  3. How long had this collection been accumulating?
  4. Did the person think nobody would ever audit the file server?
  5. Were they using corporate bandwidth to download this?
  6. What’s their address? We want to shake their hand.

This is the most committed weeb infrastructure we’ve ever seen in corporate America. Legendary.

The Real Takeaway

Here’s what Kawasaki should have learned:

  • Segment personal and business data
  • Monitor large data transfers
  • Audit file server content
  • Maybe don’t let employees maintain personal entertainment archives at 479GB

Here’s what RansomHub should have learned:

  • Check what you’re actually stealing
  • Verify data before threatening ransom demands
  • Don’t publish torrents without review
  • Anime is not a substitute for intellectual property theft

Here’s what SWA learned:

  • Corporate security is theater
  • Ransomware groups are becoming less professional by the day
  • 479GB is a LOT of anime
  • Somewhere in Europe, someone is absolutely mortified about this

Conclusion: Welcome to 2024 Cybercrime

What started as a sophisticated-sounding ransomware attack against a major motorcycle manufacturer ended with the inadvertent mass distribution of Naruto Shippuden.

This is progress.

SWA’s Data Security Services now include anime detection and removal. Keep your ransomware operations professional - don’t accidentally become an anime distribution service!

Also available: “Did We Steal Anime by Accident?” consulting for ransomware groups who aren’t sure what they took.

Special offer: Free Naruto torrent with any data breach consulting package!

About Dmitri: Former corporate IT administrator who discovered that file server auditing was “too much like work.” Now at SWA, leading the charge against professional incompetence in cybercrime. His personal record for most anime episodes downloaded on corporate bandwidth remains classified, but the rumors suggest 487GB is a rookie number.

P.S.: If you’re the person at Kawasaki Motors with that Naruto collection - congratulations on accidentally becoming the world’s most famous corporate weeb. We salute you. Your IT security was terrible, but your taste in anime is impeccable.